Wise Words from Bo Sanchez on True Wealth
How to Be More Emotionally Present to Your Family No
Matter How Busy You Are

6 Steps to Enjoying Your True Wealth
By Bo Sanchez

We were going to Hong Kong that day. I was going to
preach for three days but had two extra days to be
with my family. Picture us at the airport: My wife
carrying our baby in her arms, my eldest son
bouncing about like a rabbit and announcing to the
whole world, "I'm going to Hong Kong Disneyland!"
And the poor skinny father? Straining to push eight
massive bags on a wobbly cart with a stubborn right
wheel. (I've noticed that these deranged carts
supernaturally end up with me wherever I go.)

That was when we heard the crying.

Correction. Not crying. But spine-chilling,
lung-busting screaming. Two kids were holding onto
their mother. They were separated by four-foot tall
steel bars. But to those distraught children, those
steel bars represented two years of being without
their mother - the contract of a domestic helper in
Hong Kong.

Four small arms clutching, grabbing, not letting go.
The whole world heard their pleading scream, "Mommy,
please don't go! Please don't go!" I'll never forget
the mother's pained, tortured face - as though a
knife was ripping through her body. My wife cried
openly. I wept inside and held onto my kids more
closely.

That was two days ago. Yesterday, the story
continued...

Those Small Arms Continue to Reach Out Yesterday was
Sunday.

And I walked around Central.

If you don't know Hong Kong, Central is where
thousands upon thousands of Filipina Domestic
Helpers congregate. They sit on sidewalks. They sit
on overpasses. They sit by storefronts.

I walked passed one woman who was reading a
handwritten letter.

The handwriting was obviously a child's penmanship.

I walked passed another listening to a little
cassette player - not to listen to music - but to a
voice of a kid telling stories.

But what broke my heart was the news given to me by
Shirley, the head of one organization that tries to
help them get financial education. I was shocked by
what she said. "Brother Bo, out of our 700 members
who are married, 80% is already separated from their
husbands."

Families aren't designed for prolonged separation.

They're not just made for that.

We're supposed to spend time together.

6 Steps to Spending More Time with Your Family
No Matter How Busy You Are

"Bo, why are you telling me this? I'm not in Hong
Kong. I'm living with my family under one roof."

Listen. Yes, you're not in Hong Kong.

But if you don't have time for your family - and
your heart is not focused on them - you might as
well be in another country.

You could be physically present - but are you
emotionally present as well?


Let me share with you five important steps you could
take to become more emotionally present with them...


Step #1: Be Close.

I'm still in Hong Kong as I write this piece.

It's five in the morning as I type this article in
bed. And my little family is literally around me
because we're all sleeping on one bed. Yes, we've
become one mass jumble of intertwined humanity - our
limbs, legs and arms crisscrossing each other. And
that's when I realize - gosh, I don't know how
blessed I am.

Why?

Here I am with my family. I feel their skin. I smell
their scents. We're so close, I feel their breath.

And yet I'm surrounded by 148,000 domestic helpers
here in Hong Kong that have been away from their
families for months, for years, for decades.

And for those who've separated - forever.


Let me say it again: We don't know how blessed we
are.

We complain that our families are nutty. But we
don't understanding how blessed we are to have them
close enough to experience their nuttiness. We
complain about our petty quarrels, our cold wars,
our dysfunctionality.

But whose family isn't dysfunctional?

I've talked to some people here in Hong Kong who
would give anything to be with their families again
- even for just one day of nuttiness. The first step
is to be more emotionally present to your family is
to actually be physically present to them. Be close!


You need to know how precious your family is - and
treat them that way. You need to see them as your
true wealth - that nothing is more precious than
your relationships.


Step #2: Be Deliberate.

Because you need to protect this treasure or they
get stolen from you.
No matter how busy I am, I schedule a weekly
romantic date with my spouse.

Yes, I actually write it down in my appointment book
and treat it like a meeting with the President of
the Philippines. These weekly nights are blocked off
for the entire year. Nothing can touch it, except
some dire emergency.

Why? Because if my marriage fails, everything else
stands to fail as well: My ministry, my businesses,
my soul... So it is an emergency that I bring her
out every week.

I also schedule a weekly date with my kids.

I believe parents need to do these one-on-one dates
with each of their kids. Unless of course you've got
18 children and may need to bring them out by two's
or three's.

Sometimes my son and I just walk around the village
and talk.

It doesn't have to be big. But swapping stories and
opening our hearts to one another on a consistent
basis is already very big to them. It means they
matter to you - that you value them - and you'll see
their self-esteem grow.

Step #3: Be Expressive.

I tell my wife "I love you" seven times a day.

I hug my kids countless of times a day.

At night, I tell my kids, "I'm so proud you're my
son. I'm so proud I'm your Daddy. You're a genius.
You're a loving boy. You're an incredibly gifted
young man..."

This is true. I have met 40-year olds who long to
hear these words from their parents - "I'm proud of
you," and feel an empty space - like a gaping wound
in their souls because their parents have never told
them this.

Don't do that to your kids.

And before I forget: Praise your kids seven times a
day.

And praise your spouse seven times a day.

I'm not kidding. It will revolutionize your
marriage.

If I say, "Criticize your spouse seven times a day,"
I bet you'd say, "Kaunti naman. I do that already."
But that's the problem. We don't realize that when
we criticize our spouses, we actually destroy our
marriage bit by bit - not just our spouses.

But when you praise and honor your spouse - you
build up your marriage.

It can be very simple stuff:
Ang sarap ng luto mo ngayon, Hon.
I thank God He gave you to me.
You're so hardworking.
I love it when I see you play with the kids.
You know how to make me happy.
Ganda mo ngayon.

Keep on doing this and you'll see changes in your
life and your marriage you thought were not
possible.

Let me say it again: Praise your spouse - and your
children - seven times a day.

Step #4: Be Deep.

Your weekly dates shouldn't just be watching movies,
eating out and going home.

Talk deep.

Talk about your feelings.

Enter into each other's worlds. Dive into each
other's dreams, hurts, desires, worries, hopes and
burdens.

When you open yourself up to your spouse or your
child, there are more chances for the other person
to open up to you.

Step #5: Be Simple

Yesterday afternoon, I preached to 700 people in
Hong Kong.

I usually give my talks for 45 minutes. That's been
my trademark. But yesterday, I gave a solid two-hour
talk. Vein-popping, heart-pounding, passion-driven
talk - because I had a burden in my heart.

Because I preached on Financial Literacy.

I challenged them, "Raise your financial I.Q.!"

I scolded them, "When you left the Philippines, you
told your kids, 'Anak, two years of separation lang
'to. After two years, Mommy will have saved enough
and will go home and we'll be together again.' But
after two years, you go home and you haven't saved.
Because you repainted the house. Because there's a
new TV set in the living room and a new gas range in
the kitchen. Because the kids have new designer
rubber shoes.

I taught them how to live simply and ruthlessly save
20% of their income.

Because unless they do this, they will be forever
trapped in Hong Kong.

Look at your life.

Are you living simply?

Are you saving 20% of your income?

Step #6: Be Financially Intelligent

I also taught them where to invest.

I told them, "It's not enough to just save. You need
to know where to put your money. Because savings
accounts at 1% and time deposits at 5% won't do.
Inflation - which is at 7% - will simply eat them
up."

So I taught them about mutual funds and other
investment vehicles, including the ability to sell
something and get into business.

Here's the truth: The more you know about money, the
less time you need to make money. So the more time
you have for your family.

Actually, a time should come when you don't need to
make money. Instead, you let money make money. And
that requires financial intelligence.

Read. Attend seminars. Look for mentors.

Go Home.

After giving my talk, I took a deep breath and told
my audience in Hong Kong, "When you follow these
principles and have saved enough - please go home.
Please go home to your children."

I made a lot of people cry that day.

I'm telling you the same thing.

Oh yes, you may be living with your family in one
house, but it's possible that your heart is so far
away from your spouse and kids - and they are far
away from you as well.

You need to let your heart go home.

Go home my friend.

Your heart belongs there.